Finally modani project is handed up..
Really very relieved now.
Just got back my netfund quiz result,
very happy with my result. almost got full marks. =(
Lab test i got full marks. =)
Cos i wan to prove to some people that i am not those kind of lazy people who don study.
I aiming for my netfund for A,
so i need to study harder for netfund ba..

Recently, been very down, lucky got some people are there to console me..
Esp korshim(of cos is him), mingfeng, pencil(from sgc), my kor(daniel), jesslyn(from csc).
Been having relationship problem, but i guess i am numbed to it until i can recover quickly not like in the past, i jus cling on it and nv let go, causing myself to be so hurt by some people.
I jus worry that i will fall in love with some people (shouldnt fall in love with them).

Now left mct project is undone. =(
I totally dono how to do cause it is all about codings and coding.
Coding can make me mad de lor.. =(
Anyway, i am so lazy to post anything already.
Want to facebook now. =)

loves, cloudiie

I have been busy with sch projects..
Done with modani project, wad a big relief.
I almost explode while doing the music effect.
Well, music effect is hard task for me to get it done.. =(
My valcano almost exploded soon today!

I keep thinking of him. All along he dono he got treat me as his girl a not.
Tat really hurts me a lot. I even cried. But i guess he wont knw it de ba..
Seeing him being happy makes me feel better.
Even if he gonna dump me, i also don mind anymore.
I deserve it, cos i have hurt him in the past.
I lose all faith in love already.
I also dono how to love myself anymore.
I don dare to rely on him.
I don wan to burden him becos of me.
I trying to keep all these feeling to myself and my blog.
I don wan to mafan other pple listening my problem.
I scare people think i am irritating.

My online counselling will be 19Feb with m0chi.
m0chi is a great counseller but she is going to be my counseller until this month..
Sigh.

Cny mood is coming towards me. My home is decorated with cny thing.
I am excited for cny, of cos muz wait till all my project is over! =(

loves, cloudiie

I have read his blog. He gave me a feeling that he nv include me in his life.
I am really a transparent human to him now.
I am crying now. But he doesnt know about it.
My heart cannot take it anymore.
Now i really know i am not his girl.
I have pay the price for wad i have done to u in the past.
I know i will get hurt from now till duno when it will end.
But the love i have for u is real. But i think u wont ever know about it ba.
Take care of urself. Heart is bleeding badly.
I jus wan him to move on without thinking of her.
He kept think of her. I am really useless now.
Cry and cry. I am really a fool...

crys cloudiie

A letter to guy J/him:

Dear, i knew in the past i have hurt u so much until u cannot take it.
This time round, i am serious about u. I know u still cannot forget ur ex.
I will give u time to forget her.. I hope u are serious about me.
I don wan to get hurt from u, i am scare that one day u will leave me.
Hope everything will go smoothly for u. I also not sure u will have the time to read this post a not, i will try to shorten it.. Have enough rest and take care of urself.
I enjoy those times when i am with u. Loves.

loves, cloudiie

I kinda of missing him now.. But he doesnt know ba.
I also dono he will read my blog a not.
Keep thinking of him during my lesson today. I also dono how he is doing now.
I also dono, does he love me?
I am getting crazy soon.
Sch project is making me very stress now.
How? Not having enough sleep recently.
Somehow i think of him too much.
Waiting for his sms or call..
Sigh.

-loves cloudiie

Guess he is still angry with me.
I have the paid the price for wad i have done to him.
Guess he is happy now without me.
I guess i love a wrong person again.
Yeah, i love him le, but he dont even bother.
My heart is bleeding until he don even care.
I am a bitch to him oni wad.
I am really useless..
I hate myself. =(

-edited- @ 10.05pm
read his blog jus now.
heart ache. i think he cant forget his ex.
I really fall in love with him already.
But i think he wun know it ba.
I am a jus a bitch to him.
i am really a fool now.
I jus hope he will take care of himself,
everything will go smoothly for him.
I jus be alone will be more better.
He wont knw tat my heart is feeling so pain.
Crying for nth. I am useless person, a piece of shit.
Hope he is happy ba. Take care guy J.

-devil cloudiie-

I have his blog almost everyday. He is breaking down soon but i cannot do anything to help him.
He don even care abt my sms or wadeva. I wan to help him but he doesnt knw about it ba.
I start to hate to go sch since those pple treat me as transparent.
I am a person who need friends. I duno wat did i do to make them ignore me.
I really dono about this. I still think whether is my problem a not.
I am getting crazy soon.. Its killing me soon.
Lucky, i got korshim to hear all my nonsense about them.
When i talk abt it, sometimes i will cry. Cos i think my heart is really fragile..
Those people thought that my heart is so hard until i can take it.
My heart is soft. Really soft, when u hurt my heart it will break easily.
Tomorrow i gonna play lan with korshim. Leting off all my stress i got for this few weeks.
I wanna finish my modani scene by this week. Hope i can really do it and without delaying any further. I guess i need God to listen to all my woes. Hope everything will go smoothly for me.
The road is hard for me to walk now. =(

loves, cloudiie